Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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