New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
