chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
