Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
