yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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