You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
