I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
My penis needs a shock collar
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Randomize
