think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
