Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
