THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
