i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
