wat bout pragnant strippers??
I feel great
I just peed on a car
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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