:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
