white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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