Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
