I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
