You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
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