how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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