We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Randomize
