I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
