I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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