Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
