So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Well I just put wine in my tea
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
