i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
