Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I don't think brook has ever known best
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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