I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
no. you can't hotbox the world.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
