Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(214): View more from Texas

My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.

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(510): View more from California

I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.

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(714): View more from California

Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.

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(928): View more from Arizona

I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.

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(325): View more from Texas

So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning

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