I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
