next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
How many fucks given?
0.12846
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
