the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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