haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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