He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
