she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
