dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
