i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
