Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
