I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Randomize
