I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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