He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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