Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
