This is not my ceiling
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Randomize
