He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
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