i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
