I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
