you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
