Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
