oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I will pee on everything he values.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
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