I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
