U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Quick, to the slutcave!
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
