Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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