he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Randomize
