I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
bring money and cleavage
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
The cops high fived after they tackled you
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
