she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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