based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
