i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
