All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
