All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
