oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Randomize
