i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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